Why You Should Not Take Revenge

Why You Should Not Take Revenge

When people take revenge it’s usually because they are angry and unhappy about how they were treated. I am generalizing here. There could be more reasons to it but I believe basically revenge is an act resulting out of anger.

If we think deep enough we will find that those who take revenge are trying to satisfy their own righteousness. It’s as if saying, ‘Oh alright. Since you did that to me, I am going to do this to you’. It’s always the case of an eye for an eye when it comes to revenge.

I am sure many of you may have felt this way before but if you are thinking of taking a revenge on someone, it only shows one truth: people who take revenge are those who don’t know how to manage their own emotions correctly.

It’s common to feel hurt and angry when we feel mistreated but no matter how we are being treated, there is no such thing as righteous anger. Anything done out of anger are always wrong. It’s not an act based on balanced thinking.

If you are saying, you are not taking revenge because you are angry but because you just want to show what is right, it’s an act wanting to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong.

Remember, what’s right for us may not be what’s right for others. When we are being mistreated, instead of taking revenge, we need to ask ourselves, ‘why are I am being treated this way?’ and find the answer and take the necessary action.

If you find that you didn’t do anything wrong but you are being mistreated, you have two choice of actions. One, you can rectify it by influencing the person who is mistreating you by means of taking positive action or two, you can just walk away.

Now, let me tell you, the act of walking away is not wrong at all. It’s not being coward but it’s being smart. If you know someone is mistreating you, why would you want to waste your time and energy with such a person and hurt yourself?

Let’s say you are in a relationship and you found your spouse cheating on you. You can either try to save the relationship by doing something positive or you can walk away. Sometimes, you need to think about yourself, of what is good for you.

If you do take the revenge, the only feelings you probably will get out of taking revenge is some kind of inner fulfillment of successfully getting even with that person, but it doesn’t make any difference between you and that person.

What I am trying to say is people who take revenge are those who don’t know how to let go. If you believe you need to revenge on your spouse for cheating you, it means you cannot let your spouse be.
When you cannot let others be it means you cannot let others go. To let go means to let other people be themselves. The more you let others be themselves, the more you are going to be yourself.

Let others be even if we know they are doing wrong? Well, we are so sure they are doing wrong but are we? Even if we believe what others are doing is wrong, what other people are doing is actually what they believe is right. What we believe is right is only true for us.

We are not here to change others to think the way we think or believe what we belief. We are here to know and discover ourselves. It is common to meet such people who like to mistreat us. They exist to test our patience but will you fail to remain patience?

Just forgive and walk away from this type of people and focus on achieving your own goals in life. There is no point in wasting your time taking revenge on these types of people. They will change themselves when the time comes for them to change.

Don’t you think there are better things to do in life than taking revenge? Life isn’t forever down here in this world. Focus on your personal success not taking revenge on someone. Be smart and put your attention on what matters in life.

3 thoughts on “Why You Should Not Take Revenge

  1. Hi, I agree with you as I am a victim of revengeful attacks over an incident that happened 10 years ago. The incident wasn’t even my own doing. It seems the person just can’t put it down even after a decade and is determined to find me and extract as much damage on me, probably until the day he dies. I’m not complaining though – I just take it easy, no response from me at all. I only feel pity for the boiling hatred this person must be enduring every day from wake up to sleep to actually want to destroy his fellow man.

    Anyway my point is, the eye for an eye thing is actually the norm in this world. Our laws are punitive in nature. You can sue someone for slander. If you kill someone, you may be hanged. Retribution from god in the afterlife, karma, aren’t they all forms of getting even, an eye for an eye.

    I admit I am confused between man exacting revenge and nature neutralizing imbalances to achieve harmony. Do you think they really all that different?

  2. “An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind” said Mahatma Gandhi but that’s how it seems to be down here in this world. People are becoming blind by not seeing what love is all about.

    A lot of people are trying to take the so called ‘justified action’ practicing an eye for an eye but in truth, that’s vengeance in action. Any kind of action done in the absence of love is a reaction of what human beings believes to be righteous.

    This is a warring universe. There is a constant war going on between human righteousness and love. The only righteous action should be an act done out of love and love doesn’t inflict injuries. As you said, if we kill someone here, we can be hanged. Not much of a loving reaction isn’t it and if we do follow the way of love here, than the action may appear unjustified towards the killer. It’s as if there is unfairness. What is fair for one person may not be fair for another person.

    Karma on the other hand is different. While it may look as if it is an eye for an eye kind of law we can look at karma as a law established to educate souls about love, but man made laws, aren’t really educating souls about love. If look closely, you will find man made laws are teaching righteousness: Human righteousness. The purpose of karma is to teach you about love.

    In the end, those who follow man made laws are subject to karmic law too. Karmic laws are natural laws. We all have to learn about love sooner or later. True love is above any kind of law. Love is a law unto itself. The whole aim of life experiences we go through is to find this Love (God). Until this lesson is learned, there will always be conflict in this world.

    There is really a difference between what man believes to be right and what nature is trying to do by finding balance wherever there is conflicts. When man tries to be exacting in his revenge or judgment what his is upholding is his own self righteousness. It’s the attempt to preserve of his own ego which will fail in the end.

    Nature is on the other hand is constantly preserving the entire universe. It’s really about being selfish and being selfless. If one is selfish he will look to his own agenda as something valid but if he can see love, he will let go his own puny ideas and work with the world towards creating a harmonious world.

    Yet, it won’t be easy. The nature of this world is to be in constant dynamic struggle between the good and the bad. It is through conflict that we learn to grow. If there is no conflict, growth will be so slow that we can miss the lessons we are suppose to learn. Conflict inst bad after all. There is a good thing to everything.

    It’s how we look at it and the way to do it is to ask ourself, “What is this situation trying to tell me?” There will always be a lessons. We wonder why things are the way they are and that’s alright but many times we fail to wonder why we are in this situation and what we are to learn from this situation. Often it’s a lesson on love.

  3. Hi again. I agree with what you said. In the end it would seem ego is our undoing, the feeling that “this is mine” or “that is not mine.” I’ve searched my own soul as I took pot shots from the revengeful person and concluded that the central driver of revenge is fear. Fear of loss of face, reputation, identity. You mentioned righteousness. The other side of righteousness is the fear that that righteousness will be challenged.

    I think the more attached one is to his identity, opinion, reputation or whatever, the more afraid he is to lose it. If he perceives those things were wrongly damaged or taken away, he will take action to regain what he thinks he had lost.

    Sometimes settling the score means inflicting equal or higher (usually higher) damage against the perceived tormentor. That’s called revenge. But the root cause of it is till the same – fear of loss.

    So I endure all this by learning to let go of my own attachment to myself. If someone tries to destroy my reputation out of revenge, I tell myself reputation is just a self-serving illusion we all manufacture. In the end we all go the same way – 6 feet underground. With this I’ve learnt to receive such acts with a calm smile.

    But it also sends a message that the world does not like. To the world, reputations are very real and if you don’t feel passionate enough to protect your damaged reputation, then it concludes maybe you didn’t have much to begin with. It doesn’t have time for compassion – that’s a tool of weaklings.

    The world values passion. It values anger because anger gives you the power to conquer the enemy. It values fear because when you strike fear in someone, they give you a healthy respect. It values revenge because it recognizes that pride and reputation are important for getting ahead, and settling scores is an accepted way to maintain that pride. Friction and conflict has been man’s lot for thousands of years.

    However I do believe one can survive this world while being compassionate and selflessness. You normally find such people in monasteries, those who take themselves out of the worldly loop. Frankly I sometimes wonder if that’s where I belong.

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