I live in an apartment. While going out for lunch this afternoon, I saw a couple arguing about something badly in the lift. Looked to me it was an argument about an unknown phone call the girl received. Don’t be surprised. I have seen couples arguing about even for a simpler issue than this like looking at a guy. Honestly, I felt a little disturbed listening to the harsh words flying in the air. Although I knew I could have stopped them from arguing, it was totally non of my business to interfere. Sometimes, it is best to keep silent about somethings and let others to handle their own problems. It is important to let others be.
Why letting others be themselves is important? It is because we do not want to interfere in their psychic space and karma. We don’t want to create ourself a new karma. Like it or not, we all are constantly creating unnecessary karma daily by a being busy body. The problem with this is that we don’t how karma works. How this law of action and reaction works? Once understood, we will practice the law of silence even more. Talking only when necessarily.
A lot of us want to know why we have so much of problems or conflicts. It’s all karma. You are facing the exact reaction of your previous actions. Nothing comes to us without we somehow initiating it. Even my experience in the lift was initiated by me. It was the exact timing of my decision and action to enter the lift that made me to face such situation. Some of us calls this fate. When someone says you can change your fate, what they really mean is, you can choose to experience life the way you want it. Had I decided to enter the lift later, I wouldn’t have seen the couple. My life experience would have been different.
It is not easy to choose the perfect life experience, because we do not know what will happen even the next minute, although there are ways to determine it. You know, it is called predictions. You can only predict your future if you are a Saint. I want to remind all of you again why Jesus said in his sermon once, ‘Seek ye the kingdom of heave first, and all shall be added unto you’, he said this because, when you reach heavenly state of consciousness, you will have the power to know all things. That is why he insisted all to become spiritual. When you know all things, you can determine how you want to experience life.
This world is full of conflicts because of one thing, we do not know what is in someone else’s mind and what will happen next. We assume things. Assumption is not true predictions and because we assume the wrong stuff we and end up having problem. It is true since no one is perfect and I think we can safely say, no one in this world who is not without conflict.
The couple actually reminded me of my own previous experience with my ex girlfriend. Conflicts can be be very painful, especially in the case of couples having relationship problems. Conflicts are unavoidable as long we are living in a world full of people with difference levels of acceptance. Our acceptance are the values and norms we believe to be true. When these values or norms we uphold comes to meet something that suppress it or against it, than conflict occurs. In a simpler term, it is known as disagreement.
In extreme cases, sometimes, specially in a relationship, the pain of conflict can lead to what we know as domestic violence. The capacity to handle any conflicting situation begins from our ability to handle our own emotion. When we are experiencing intolerable anger or pain, we as human, has the tendency to loose control of our sanity. So it is importance for us to learn to control our emotion. Yet, it is not something that can happen overnight. It takes practice.
How do we control our emotion? We control our emotion through the control of our thoughts. It is always (always) our thoughts that determines the way we feel. The painful feeling and our anger is the result of the image that we create in our mind reacting to the conflicts. So always keep your mind with positive thoughts. Easier said than done, right? Well that is why we need a broader perspective of life to keep our mind always positive. Think about it awhile. When you realize what is important and what is not important in life, you can choose consciously the kind of experience you want in life.
Proper outlook in life cannot create conflict no matter what happens because we know why they are happening and knowing why they are happening we will know what kind of reaction to take. This means we are now reacting consciously or knowingly. It all comes back to one thing and that is love. If you have understood what love is all about, you will know how to handle yourself and others. Many of us who gets angry or react very fast and create problem because of self righteousness. It has something to do with ego. If you understand, others have their own way of thinking, you can appreciate others better.
Well, the world would be a better place, if we know what love is all about and practice it. That’s all there is to conflict resolution. Love and love can solve all problems. It is the greatest painkiller I know. So fill yourself with love. You will see miracles.
Conflict is drama, and how people deal with conflict shows you the kind of people they are. – Stephen Moyer