How To Change Others

How To Change Others

Don’t ever try to change anyone. It won’t work. You will only waste your time trying. Yet, that is how reality is nowadays. People spend an awful lot of time trying to change others. They try to change their children, change their spouse, change their employees, change their colleagues, change their friends or even try to change their relatives.

Why do people try to change others? People do it because people believe if they can change them, they will become better and will make them happier. The truth is people try to change others to make their own self happy, because if other people listen us, wouldn’t our life becomes easier?

If you have read the story about Mahatma Ghandi, you’d probably agree he was especially tuned in to futility of changing people and yet, history shows that he probably was one of the most influential people in history who’ve brought changes to millions of people.

If people go to Ghandi and ask, “I like the idea of non-violence, but there are others who don’t. How do we change them?”, and he would reply, “you cannot change others but you must be the change you wish to see in them”. That’s one profound truth about changing others.

If you want to change anyone, you can’t, but they can be inspired to think and perhaps take the decision to change by observing our behaviors and attitudes. When you are being how you want others to be, you are being a living example.

That is leadership through example. You lead people to change by being an example of change. You show people instead of telling people. Why showing? Not many people like the idea of being told what to do. Some people will never get the idea, so why waste time?

If you want change others, change yourself first. The change must occur within and inspire people to think and try doing something to change too.

2 thoughts on “How To Change Others

  1. Quite true also Wong. We change the unacceptable by becoming an agent of change. Meaning we change our self first and facilitate environment that enhance others to do the same. On the other hand, it is also true we have to accept what we cannot change. In fact there are things we can’t change at all no matter what we do… for example ha… the wind lor.. can you change the wind? You can change the direction of the wind… but you cannot change the wind itself… hope you can see my point.. anyway thanks for dropping by.


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